in Entertainment

Super Heroes we’ll never really need


Whether we need this guy really depends on a few factors. Yes, he’ll be great at Iceland and bringing about the demise of Kerry Katona, but as an actual Super Heroe? It’s a tough one but most countries when it comes to war do tend to heat things up a little and the last place anyone made of ice want to be is in the middle of an inferno, usually started by Americans, in another country that is already hot anyway.

Invisible Man

Apart from it being a little pervy having someone wondering around no one can’t actually see. There will be issues as to who’s side he’s on. One minute he could be spying for the good guys, the next the bad guys, it’s doesn’t matter as no one can see him. Will he turn up for briefings and de-briefings? Probably not. Not only will they be boring but again, no one will be sure as to whether he has bothered to turn up or not.


Stick on a cloak, a mask and you have what we call someone dressed up. It happens most weekends somewhere, people having costume parties. Okay, Batman may be trained in martial arts but then so was Chuck Norris and we rarely saw him dressed up as a bat. He also goes against rule number one of being a super hero, if he can be shot in the head then he’s not a super hero.


Great to watch, nice outfit and some snazzy moves but local councils would have a constant headache with spider web removal costs and who would foot the bill? Yep, the taxpayer. Would his defeating bad guys outweigh the cleaning bills, perhaps, and it might be worth asking Parker to clean up his mess after he’s done, or as with all spiders, just try and leave him in the garden shed under a can of oil or something.


Certainly a handy hero when required and he can do all sorts of other things. Take off the suit and he’s totally mortal. Put the suit back on and at first you think “gee, how am I going to stop this guy?” well a simple but large magnet would suffice, the Russians probably have one somewhere and although some of you will know his suit inside out and suggest he has an anti magnet installed in there then we’d like to hear about it.


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